Motivational quotes that have TRUTH to them

I got an email today with some motivational quotes and thought they deserved to be shared. I have added my own thoughts on these quotes and hope that you can take something in from each of them today and apply it to good mental health.

"The Groundwork of all happiness in good health" -- Leigh Hunt

This one really hits home with me because when someone is in good health in every aspect it is hard for them not to be happy. If you think about the people who are unhappy or even about your own unhappiness, is it due to poor physical health? What about poor mental health? Spiritual? I think this quote probably holds a lot of truth. Being health is pretty priceless. Ask anyone who isn't!

"The principle is competing against yourself. It is about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before" -- Steve Young

I think this is another quote that really resonated with me. Any time that I find myself competing against others it makes me entirely miserable but when I strive to compete with myself and be better than I was before, I find myself feeling energized, motivated, and entirely driven for success. I challenge you today to compete with yourself. Did you work out yesterday? If not, spend 30 minutes moving your body today. If you did, do something a little extra today. Were you nice to the ones you loved yesterday? If not, love on them today. You get the idea.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act but a habit." --Aristotle

I think this is the quote today that really inspired me. Often times I will say things like "I am not healthy" or "I procrastinate constantly." The difference between me being healthy and unhealthy is the habit of doing things that are healthy. I have decided to stop saying those negative things about myself and just start DOING what I want to be!

"Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still" -- Chinese Proverb

I think a lot of times I get really frustrated when things take time like getting in shape, saving money for something special, or even accomplishing a goal. This was a great reminder today that only standing still is not getting anywhere. As long as you are moving, you are going the right way!

I hope this quotes helped you today and drove you onto new and better things!

Talk It Out Tuesday 7/6/2010

Often times when we go to job interviews we get asked this question that is very hard to answer. It is hard to answer because if we answer it truthfully, we may not get offered the job. However, if we lie about it, most likely if they hire us they will soon find out we were dishonest. The question is "What is your biggest weakness?"

I decided to put this to a discussion today and talk this question out. First of all, I would ask you to answer whether you feel it is a sensible question to ask in a job interview. Secondly, if you can be...try to be completely honest and share what you believe your biggest weakness really is. I am anxious to see how many of us can be real and genuine when asked this question. It would be a great question if nothing rides on it and people could be honest.

Just an experiment for your "Talk it out Tuesday"

My Answer: No, I don't feel it is sensible to ask this for the aforementioned reasons. I think that if people were honest, they may not get hired. If people are dishonest, it serves the company or business poorly as well due to the implications of the weakness being an issue later. As for my own biggest weakness, I would say (completely honestly) that I have a huge lack of motivation. I often times have these great ideas and feel like I could run a million projects and when I sit down to do it, it sounded a lot more fun than it is and I want to do anything other than that task. However, if someone tried to take the task from me and complete it, I would feel threatened and want to take it back only for the length of time of getting it back just to have NO motivation again. I really feel that my consistency is also an issue. I will work hard for 2 weeks and then lose all of my steam for work projects.

Ok, I have bared my proverbial soul....I am hoping you all join in the discussion and share your biggest weakness. I promise you won't be fired or hired based on these answers!

Mental Health Monday 7/5/2010

Since it is Mental health Monday, I thought today we would talk about a disorder that is commonly displayed in movies, tv, and is the butt of so many jokes. Today I am going to explain the difference between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. Many people confuse them by saying "I am so OCD" when they just like their home clean. Others do not understand the concept of compulsions and obsessions. I think that far too many people use the term OCD without full knowledge of what it looks like. I will start by putting a video up so you can get an idea of what OCD really is.

This video is from this show I have been watching on VH1 called The OCD project. I thought this explanation was well formulated and these people have severe forms of OCD. I would recommend you give it a look if this interests you.

As Dr. Tolin explained there needs to be two different things going on for a person to have OCD. Obsessions are the thoughts that are constant and persistent in the mind of a person struggling with OCD.

An example of this would be a constant thought of "My child is going to die." This thought would not only come to your mind but would be intrusive and inappropriate and would cause marked anxiety or distress. We all have worries that come into our minds and even some of those that seem a little inappropriate for the setting but most of us can get that thought out of our mind and self soothe enough to not have to deal with it constantly and persistently. A person who has OCD will not be able to self soothe but will do step two which is to form a compulsion.

A compulsion is a repetitive behavior or mental act that a person feels the need to continue doing in response to the obsession or according to rules that must be followed rigidly. We will use our prior example of "My child is going to die."

Compulsions a person may use to combat this obsessive thought are things like:

repetitive behaviors: hand washing, ordering, checking ....or....

mental acts: praying, counting, or repeating words silently.

The main thing to remember is that these two are connected and there is something irrational in the mind that tells the person struggling with OCD that doing these rituals will cause the obsessive thought to neutralize. There is no comfort or rest for this disorder without treatment.

Now...onto Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

This is the disorder that more people relate to than people who relate to OCD. The criteria for OCPD is:

A pervasive pattern of preoccupation with orderliness, perfectionism, and mental and interpersonal control, at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:

1) is preoccupied with details, rules, lists, order, organization, or schedules to the extent that the major point of the activity is lost.

2) shows perfectionism that interferes with task completion (e.g., is unable to complete a project because his or her own overly strict standards are not met)

3) is excessively devoted to work and productivity to the exclusion of leisure activities and friendships (not accounted for by obvious economic necessity)

4) is overconscientious, scrupulous, and inflexible about matters of morality, ethics, or values (not accounted for by cultural or religious identification)

5) is unable to discard worn-out or worthless objects even when they have no sentimental value

6) is reluctant to delegate tasks or to work with others unless they submit to exactly his or her way of doing things

7) adopts a miserly spending style toward both self and others; money is viewed as something to be hoarded for future catastrophes

8) shows rigidity and stubbornness

People often confuse the two of these and as you can see...they are VERY different!

Here is a video to explain the differences more thoroughly to supplement the reading.

Self Care Sunday 7/4/2010

The most basic definition of self care is behaviors that counter the effects of emotional and physical stress. We absolutely can not escape emotional and physical stress as long as we live in the real world so it is imperative that we all learn how to do basic self care and even advanced self care. We will start with the most basic of all self care.

The first step to self care is taking care of your body. Our bodies are so important to the management of stressful situations. Every situation will seem and even feel worse if you don't feel well physically. Most of these things people would say "oh I know I am supposed to do that" but they often do not. Take a moment and go through the list of self care strategies for your body and see if you could be doing more to take care of your emotional health by first taking care of your physical health.

1. Have regular check ups with your doctor: Make sure to do yearly physicals as well as getting needed immunizations, dental check ups, vision check ups, and taking all prescribed medications. If this is something that your religion goes against then please read the other tips here.

2. Eating for fuel: So many of us eat just to enjoy food and very rarely think of food as fuel. Your body needs certain vitamins, minerals and basic nutrients to work at its best physically. This is also true for your brain and your ability to cope with problems. Talk to your physician about what calories, nutrients, and diet is needed for optimal health.

3. Exercise: Often people think that exercise has to be hard. We have become people who sit most of our lives so getting up and moving 20-30 minutes a day will not only help you physically but get oxygen moving. Your brain will work better in helping you cope with stressful situations.

4. Get therapy when needed: Now you knew I had to go with this one. So many people frown upon therapy and think "oh that is for someone really screwed up." It really isn't. Therapy is for those people who are strong enough to admit that they need someone to help them through the difficult times. You don't have to stay in therapy forever, sometimes it is just to walk through difficult times or maybe you have things you have never talked about and they weigh on you. Give talk therapy a chance!

5. Get proper amounts of rest/sleep: Most people know that they should get 6-8 hours of sleep per night so I will refrain from lecturing on that topic (as I write this post at 2 am due to my own insomnia) but what about REST. It is just as important to have down time where you do things you enjoy and find joy in. For me, that means scrapbooking, cooking, reading, organizing, and going to the beach. Find things that relax you and give it at least 30 minutes of your day. If all you can find is 10 minutes, start there. Rest is just as important as sleep to your mental health and well-being.

Self care is paramount to mental health, stay with me on Sundays to find out how to take the best care of you that you absolutely can!

Stressful Saturday 7/3/2010

Which one of us hasn't felt financial stress at one time or another? I am sure most of us are experiencing it now. The economy is such that many people are losing homes, jobs, and having their businesses go under. It is no wonder that stress is at an all time high. I thought I would start our stressful Saturdays by talking about how financial stress affects you and what you can do.

Financial Stress causes a lot of issues that can/should be prevented. Here are some of the things it can cause:

1. Unhealthy Coping Strategies -- Many people who have financial difficulty start to cope by abusing substances like alcohol, drugs, or even food. These things only exacerbate the situation and cause emotional more financial difficulty with the cost of these addictions.

2. Less money for self-care -- When money gets low, people tend to cut back first on things like health care, therapy, exercise expenses like the gym, and even their once a week coffee or pedicure. Cutting out these things to pay bills can lead to you feeling even worse and having absolutely no outlet for your stress and failing health.

3. Lost Sleep -- When people start to worry about finances, it often gets worse in the nighttime hours while you lay in your bed trying to sleep. It can be hard to be rested when your mind will not shut down at night.

4. Unhealthy Emotions -- Credit Card Debt, loss of assets, etc... can lead to an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and depression. It feels like a bottomless pit at times and it gets increasingly difficult to find happiness in these times.

Now, here are a few tips on how to get through your financial stress and help yourself feel better:

1. Find out where you actually stand -- Many times people "bury their head in the sand" and don't look at the reality of where they stand financially. This can lead to them getting more and more behind when it might actually have been manageable to begin with.

2. Don't stop self care -- When you have to cut out things like pedicures and coffee house drinks; replace your old self care with newer cheaper options. Some tips I use is doing my own pedicures at home, making a nice flavored coffee drink at home, or even signing up for online programs like MyPoints and reading emails for points that you can redeem for gift cards to expensive meals, Starbucks, or even some clothing stores. We just had a meal tonight at Macaroni Grill for absolutely free due to this site.

3. Create a budget -- A budget makes you feel more in control of the process of getting out of debt or managing the little you have in the best way possible. Again, this is being more aware of where your money is going and doing the best things you can with it. This makes you feel a lot more peace when dealing with bill collectors and creditors when you know exactly what is going on.

4. Learn to find joy in cheap/free things: Have a game night with your spouse and play for small dollar store prizes, have a $2 themed date night including the dollar menu and a $2.00 movie at a local Regency theater, go for a walk in a beautiful place and pack a picnic from home. These small joys can make those money woes seem incredibly small.

5. Value people, not things: Remember that this is a season of your life and this too shall pass but don't spend your time wishing it away, savor moments with those you love and the process of learning how to be a wiser money manager!

I wish you all the best and blessings upon blessings!

Family Friday 6/2/2010

Did you know that the average marriage in America lasts only 7 years and 75% of people remarry. That means if there are children in these families, these children end up in a step family. I thought I would take a few Family Fridays to discuss Step families and some of the things that people do not consider when joining families and some of the myths that keep families stuck and unable to move forward in the quest to be a family.

The first myth I think is the most important to realize for people considering remarriage. There is a myth out there that tells you "If I love you, I will love your child."

This is JUST NOT SO. Often times, children are on their best behavior when their mother or father is dating and then when the marriage takes place, many changes also take place. The child may begin to act out or pull away as soon as the family moves in together. Many children feel a need to pull away as soon as the step-parent starts to love them more. There is far more to lose for a child if they are attached to the new "parent." Love can and most likely will happen but just like any other relationship, it is not instant and no child or adult should be expected to feel this instantly and acting as if they should, could simply cause the opposite effect in your family.

Tip: Give your children and your partner time to acquaint and build a friendship before they are expected to respect that person as a parent and be very clear on your intentions to marry and allow your children adequate room to express discontent and frustration with the union.

Have a lovely family Friday!

Thirsty Thursday 7/1/2010

I looked up the definition of "thirsty" and it came up saying "parched or craving something." I thought that was a great way to start our Thirsty Thursdays. A lot of us go through life thirsting for something but we aren't sure what it is. My guess is that we are all craving happiness. Happiness is defined as "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to immense joy. Most of us haven't even found contentment much less immense joy.

I thought we should start today by telling you one way to be a happier person. We will be going through these ways over the next several weeks of Thirsty Thursdays.

The first one is ...

Limit your Focus:

A lot of us try to be perfect in a number of areas of our lives like being a perfect spouse, a perfect parent, a perfect employee, perfect in our health/fitness, etc... and to be honest, this is the PERFECT recipe for unhappiness.

Limiting your focus to one area of your life that you want to be great at and giving yourself the ability to be "ok" at other areas can be the key to achieving true happiness. For me, I have made it my ultimate goals to be dedicated to my faith and great at my marriage. The rest (job, parenting, hobbies, housekeeping, and fitness) just seem to not feel quite as important when I am truly reaching the goal of being a great wife.

When we try to be perfect in so many areas, we make it much easier to be bad at everything therefore decreasing our happiness in life.

Go ahead and comment on this post with the one thing you want to be great at and allow yourself to just be good at everything else.

Have a great Thursday everyone!