I need a vacation from Vacation

A lot of us pack and go on vacation for the holidays! This can be one of the more stressful events of the year, if we let it be. Today I wanted to share with you some tips to help make your vacation less stressful ANY time of the year!

1. Involve the little ones:

Have the kids prepare for the vacation with you by helping to pack and also planning activities they want to do while you are there. This will make the whole family invested in having a great time!

2. Budget:

Make sure you budget each thing into your vacation. There is nothing worse than running out of money while you are away. Buy as many tickets ahead of time that you can for activities and events and plan out meals, snacks, and even some emergency money in case someone gets the sniffles.

3. Confirm all reservations:

If you confirm everything, it eliminates the stress of anything falling through. Also, make sure you have gps or maps so that getting lost is out of the question. Stressful things...lost and no place to stay!

4. See for Free:

Look at where you are going and try to find things that are free or near free for everyone to enjoy like tours of candy factories, museums, or parks. This eliminates the stress of overspending and lets everyone have fun.

5. Entertainment Bag:

Bring a bag full of things for the kids or even adult passengers to do like a portable dvd player to watch movies, travel games, crosswords, or hand held video games. This removes some grumpiness on long car or plane trips!

I hope you all have safe and fun travels and remember, the trip isn't as important as your family members. Keep the love for them as your first priority and the trip will be loads of fun!

A holiday Giveaway!

Hey everyone.

I wanted to do something a little special for my readers today and to get some more readers on my list!

I am having a holiday giveaway for the Starbucks Ornament Hot Cup that you see in the picture above. It is about 3 inches tall I would say!

To win this little beauty, I am going to be drawing out a name (randomly) on December 17th (Friday)

Here are the things you can do to gain an entry into the drawing:

1. Become a follower of my blog or if you are a follower, simply comment and say "I already follow"

2. Refer the blog to your friends by posting it on facebook or twitter and commenting me with the link to see that you did it!

3. Comment on this post by telling me about your favorite ornament on your tree this Christmas.

4. Comment on this post a second time telling me your favorite starbucks beverage!

P.S. A second drawing will be done for another starbucks prize so I recommend you do as many thing as you can to win!

Have a lovely Sunday and Good luck! Entries must be in by 12:00 Am on December 17th!

You give the advice....

Today I wanted to open the blog up to you. Here is a question and I would love all of you to chime in:

Q: How do I handle an in-law who is easily offended?

-- Tired of it in Terre Haute, Indiana

I am curious what you all think about this delimma!

Leave your responses in comments...and it is okay to be anonymous!

Laugh, it works!

Some benefits to adding humor to your family life:

-- Dispels anger and tension

-- Coping strategy in difficult situations

-- Makes life fun

-- mentally and physically good for all members

-- means of communication and expression

-- Helps express truth even when truth is feared

-- Bonds families together with "inside jokes"

Have a seat on my couch!

I know that I am a therapist and I am supposed to believe in therapy but I thought today I would try to make a believer out of you too! Here are just a few benefits of having your family in family therapy!

-- Resolving family issues: This one may sound obvious but most families have issues that can not really resolve themselves or even be worked out without a mediator. A therapist is just that. They are a outside voice that can help sort out each family members feelings and give them a voice in the room so the family unit is heard and helped in an efficient way.

-- Open Communication: Often times at home, children are afraid to say what they really feel and so are parents. In this setting, there is an unspoken and sometimes spoken rule that whatever is felt, should be said. This is a place where thoughts, feelings, and even conflicts are welcome and fostered into growth instead of tearing apart.

-- Individual Issues: Often one of our family members is acting out or has an issue that needs to be resolved individually. Undergoing family therapy can sometimes bring those issues to the center and create an opportunity for that individual to get more specialized help.

-- Lastly, you get to meet a cool person like me: Most therapists are caring and really passionate about what they do. If you do not feel that with your therapist, make sure to voice any concerns and if they are not being resolved, find a therapist that fits your family's personality and values.

I hope that you consider family therapy just a little more today!

Volunteers? Anyone?

Today I found a website I just had to share with you. It is THE VOLUNTEER FAMILY

Volunteering as a family can help you build unity and intimacy in your family as well as the multiple benefits to your own mental well being when you give back. This also teaches your children by example to give from their abundance and be a great steward of what they have been given. Whether that is the family finances, time, or talents...it is always good to know how you can help others.

This organization runs a website where you can volunteer as a family. They list ideas for families as well as tons of organizations all over the U.S. where they need families to volunteer. In my area, I found 14 opportunities just in my little neighborhood. I hope that you will stop in and see if there is anything your family can do!

Rules: Pro or Con?

Today I was thinking about Family Rules. I have a client who I see who has a list of rules that govern the family as a whole and have consequences for stepping out of those family rules. They are all very reasonable rules as are the consequences that come with not abiding by the family rules. I read an article on creating family rules and thought I would give you a few tips if this is something you would like to institute. I would also love to hear from you on whether you think family rules are affective and good or should be tossed!?

Tips for creating your family rules:

1. Keep your list small: The more rules you have, the harder it is to follow them. If there are certain things you want to instill in your children more than others, these are the ones to create rules about. For example in my home my rules might be:

a.) Respect other people at all times (no insulting, making fun of, etc..)

b.) no violence at all

c.) Respect yourself and God in this home

2. Have these rules written out in a place the whole family can be reminded of them

3. Review them with your children by having a family meeting. Make it clear on what happens if they are not followed and make it clear by what the rules mean.

4. Rules should apply to everyone, including parents! We live by example much more than by talking and lecturing.

Any ideas on your part? What do you think about instituting family rules?