Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Wedded Wednesday 6/30/2010

Today is our first ever installment of "Wedded Wednesday." This is going to be a place for couples in all stages of life to get advice, tips, ideas, and tools to help their relationships. Although it is called Wedded Wednesday most things can be related to dating couples or engaged couples as well.

Today's topic is going to be date night. My husband and I have started to diligently institute a date night on Thursday nights and it has gotten to the point where we both are super excited for Thursdays to come. I decided today to write up some things that you can use as conversation starters for your date nights. Sometimes when couples begin dating again, they think they don't have anything to talk about besides the kids, the house, the laundry etc... I am here to tell you, you do!

Here are just a few suggestions for conversations that make a good jumping off point for those nights where it is just you and hubby/wife and a cup of coffee at your over priced yuppy coffee house of choice (mine is Starbucks!)

Conversation Starters:

1. What is your favorite memory of our wedding day/first date?

2. Tell me about a piece of art, book, or movie that changed the way you think about life.

3. Tell me about a high school/college friend I have never met. What did you like about them? Where are they now?

4. What are your favorite smells and why? What memories do they evoke?

5. What is your favorite dish that your mom/grandma makes and why is it so special for you?

6. What is your earliest memory?

7. How did you know I was the one for you?

8. What is one thing you like more about me now than when we first got married/started dating?

9. What hobby or interest do you have that you have never pursued?

10. If you have another honeymoon with me, where would you want to take me?

Hope these start your date night off great. Seek to know each other the way you did when you first met. You would be surprised how exciting your hubby/wife can be!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Talk It Out Tuesday 6/29/2010

Hey everyone, this is our first installment of Talk it Out Tuesday. Our first topic is going to be.....

Birth Order.

Are you an only child, middle child, oldest, youngest? First answer which order you have in the mix and then see if you relate to these descriptions.

First Born Children:

  • People Pleasers
  • Crave Approval
  • Nurturers
  • Caregivers
  • Reliable
  • Concientious
  • Cooperative
  • Team Players
  • "Grin and bear it" mentality
  • Movers and shakers
  • Natural leaders
  • Perfectionists
  • Driven
  • Conventional
  • Always have things under control
  • Assertive
  • Want things their way
Middle Born (These can go two ways, see which one applies to you)

  • Loner
  • Quiet Shy
  • Impatient
  • Uptight

  • Outgoing
  • Friendly
  • Loud
  • Laid back
  • Patient
Common to both types:

  • Flexible
  • Diplomatic
  • Rebellious
  • Attention seeking
  • Competitive
  • Peacemakers
The "baby"

  • Risk takers
  • Idealists
  • Good sense of humor
  • Hard working
  • Immature
  • Attention seeking
  • Secretive
  • Sensitive
Only Child:

  • Mature faster
  • Get along well with older people
  • Responisible
  • Self-Centered
  • Perfectionists
  • Attention seekers
  • Use adult language
  • Prefer adult company
  • Have difficulty sharing

  • Resemble first borns
  • Aggressive
  • Loud
  • Outspoken
  • Opinionated
  • Intolerant
  • Resemble shy middle child
  • Shy
  • Loner
  • Quiet
  • Blend into the background
  • Undefiant
Take a look and comment on not only which one you are but if you agree with the traits it lists. Have a great day and hug your siblings today! :)

Love you sisters.

By the way: My type is Middle Child # 2. I agree with everything but patient, I am more uptight!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Mental Health Monday 6/28/2010

I hope that this Monday finds you doing well and enjoying life. Today I decided to start our Mental Health Mondays with some quick tips for the best mental health you can get. Below are 10 ways to improve your mental health:

1. Build Confidence:

Stop dwelling on what you aren't good at and start focusing on what you are good at. Change statements like "I am not a good artist" to "I am a great cook" or "I hardly ever exercise or eat right" to "I can eat right and exercise if I choose to" Starting to change your negative self statements to truthful positive self statements is a great way to begin to build your confidence. After that, try new things to find out what things you might be really good at. Confidence is half of the battle against poor mental health.

2. Eat Right, Keep Fit:

Eating nutritious meals full of vitamins/minerals give your body the things that it needs to maintain proper hormone levels, blood glucose levels, and other bodily responses that help moods. Also, exercise releases endorphins that create a stress relieving quality. By far the biggest benefit of exercise and proper diet to mental health is how you feel about YOURSELF when you take care of YOURSELF.

3. Make time for family and friends:

A person who spends their life working or in solitude tends to be overall not as happy as those who make time to spend with the people they love. Even if you only have one day a week to see family and friends, make that effort. If you have no time in your week to do that, make sure and at least call people you love and reconnect. It is amazing for your mental health.

4. Give and Accept Support:

Often times, people who have a hard time in life and feel overwhelmed are those who cannot ask for help or receive it. Giving support seems to be easy for these people but accepting is another matter. We are very relational creatures and we were not created to be alone or do things by ourselves. Take advantage when people say things like "How can I help you" or "Let me know if you need anything." Life's journey is difficult, but it is that much easier when someone is holding some of the burden.

5. Create a meaningful budget:

Money is a source of a lot of stress and hardship. The word "budget" is never pretty for those who feel that money is stressful or for who money is not plentiful. The first thing I advise people to do is make a priority list. Yours may look something like this....

A. God/Faith/Religion
B. Marriage/Family
C. Career/Job
D. Friends/Social

If this was your priority list, it might be best to think first about taking out your tithe/offerings or charity contributions. After that, you may do things like budget in your date night with your spouse or savings for family emergencies or vacations. You may then pay for things for your business like marketing materials or travel. Ideally, the way to mental health is not just "paying your bills" but making sure that you are doing with your money, what your heart feels is most important. We all need to provide for our families in ways like rent/mortgage but again, that falls under the sample priority list of Marriage/Family so that is a meaningful choice with what you have been given. Make sure that your money is going where you want it to go and where it is best suited for your priorities.

6. Volunteer:

There is little that feels as good as giving to people/animals/things in need. Good examples are helping out at an animal shelter, giving food to the needy, cleaning up your surroundings, etc... These things make us feel purpose and feel that something is more important than ourselves and put our worries in perspective.

7. Manage Stress:

Some of the above tips are helpful in managing stress but there are also stress relieving activities like Yoga, deep breathing, artistic and creative measures, etc..that will help to maintain stability in your moods and chemicals in your brain. Find out what calms you and make it a choice to do these things on a regular basis.

8. Find Strength in Numbers:

Sometimes when we are overwhelmed with a problem, we can't see the solution because of our fears, concerns, and anxiety. Take the time to take your cares to another person or in prayer if you practice spirituality and begin to open your mind to others' suggestions. They may think of something you could not get to because of your emotional connection to the situation. The more advice you get from wise sources, the more options you have to choose from in solving your problems.

9. Identify and Deal with Moods:

Being able to identify feelings and figure out where they started is a great way to begin a journey of mental health. If you feel like you need a list of "feeling words" shoot me an email at and I would be happy to provide you one. Many people cannot put words to how they are feeling at any given time. Learn words and definitions of feelings in order to become more aware of how certain situations affect you. Keep a "feelings journal" if necessary to track your moods and triggers. Let me know if you need help in executing this awesome tip.

10. Learn to be at peace with yourself:

Beating yourself up for mistakes or slip ups is never helpful nor productive in your mental health. Accept quickly that you WILL indeed make mistakes in life and when you do the way to compensate for that mistake is to learn from it, be at peace with your mistake, and do your best to change that behavior. Being hard on yourself is never the best choice, the world is hard enough without being your own worst enemy!

Have a wonderful week and if you have any questions feel free to comment or email me if needed!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Finally a solid lineup that I want to stick with.

Hello everyone. First of all, I want to apologize for being less than consistent in the blog. I have been working on various topics for it and trying to decide a lineup of how I want to do things in the future. I have come up with a line up for the daily posts and some ideas for series, guest bloggers, giveaways, events, etc... I hope you all enjoy the things to come.

Here is the weekly lineup so you can decide what days you would like to stop in and get some tidbits of mental health for your day.

Monday: Mental Health Monday (quick tips for everyday mental health)

Tuesday: Talk it out Tuesday (This day I will answer your mental health questions, address a topic that you have suggested, or talk something out that I find needs to be addressed and it will certainly involve an open forum for your comments and feedback.

Wednesday: Wedded Wednesday (Marriage tips, communication ideas, how to grow, conflict resolution, book reviews, date night ideas, etc...)

Thursday: Thirsty Thursday (This day will focus on things to not just Survive life but to thrive. How to find happiness in the midst of things that are common to all of us)

Friday: Family Friday (Family tips, ways to build stronger families, blended families, adoptive families, interracial families...all things FAMILY)

Saturday: Stressed out Saturday (this day will focus on things that cause or exacerbate stress like children, finances, health matters, grief, etc...)

Sunday: Self Care Sunday (ways to take better care of the person that you most depend on, you!)

I strongly encourage you to become a follower of my blog, bookmark it etc...and come back on the days that apply to you. I will also be starting a newsletter that goes out weekly very very soon and would love it if you would all consider subscribing to it once it is in action. If you are interested, leave a comment and let me know that you are. It's never bad to get a mental health boost in your email!