We are continuing our discussion on step-families this week. Upon researching the topic of step-families, I came across some information that interested me. I found that there are 4 stages of step-families and I thought I would give you the information I found and perhaps it will add a touch of normality to your life.Here are the 4 stages that step-families go through as they try to become a family.
Stage 1: The fantasy stage -- This is the "Brady bunch" phase where everyone is happy with everyone else and they imagine one big happy family.
Stage 2: Confusion stage -- Tensions arise, conflicts begin, people begin being themselves and there starts to be less romance to the situation.
Stage 3: Conflict stage -- Anger starts to erupt, true feelings begin to emerge, hopefully honest communication and openness also develops.
Stage 4: Comfort stage -- Family members begin to relax, become used to the new rules, regulations, and ways of life, hopes arise for family in the future, bonds solidify.
The important thing to remember is that every family is different and although these are stages that are mapped out, you may skip fantasy altogether, never get to comfort, or even become comfortable without all of the conflict. Either way, it is supposed to help you become aware and realize that everything that a family goes through, a step family has to go through in a much more volatile way. I encourage all of you who are in step families to look at where you are and be encouraged that this is normal progression and things will most likely calm down soon.
Another huge factor to consider is the possible emotions that a step child could be going through. Consider these for next week before I delve further into them:
- Grief
- Fear
- Jealousy
- Guilt
Thanks for reading and I pray that your families are well!
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