Date Night is over?

I just read the following statistic about families and found my second topic to discuss.

"New parents experienced declines in leisure time with their spouses in the initial months after the birth of their first child; although, shared leisure time increased in the latter half of the child’s first year, the amount of time spouses spent in shared leisure activities at the end of their child’s first year did not return to pre-parenthood levels." Familyfacts.org

Although I can completely understand this statistic, it scares me a bit in how marriages work after children. I think that there is something to say for trying to find a way to keep that "spouse leisure time" that they talk about while also attending to your child's needs. After all, I think most of us would agree that parents being in love and happy are one of their children's needs.

I had a few thoughts on why this might be paramount to your child's health as well as your personal well being. Here are just a few of those thoughts...

1. How can you parent successfully as a TEAM if the TEAM never talks and really creates the unity that it needs?

2. How does the child that you love experience and observe love and compassion if they never see you take time for the person that you vowed to love?

3. How does the child learn self care if they see that you only spend time on them and never on developing relationships outside of them, including with their other parent?

These questions that I am posing I realize are easier said than done. I am not so delusional to think that after having a child you have time or money for a weekly date night where you go out for 5-6 hours for a night on the town and pay a sitter. NO, what I am thinking is even having a weekly time of an hour where it is just you and your spouse alone (perhaps during bed time or nap time) and perhaps one day a month where you get together for something other than that. I would argue that your marriage is worth the $50 in babysitting even if you just go out for Frozen Yogurt together and talk!

Nurture your marriage especially when you have children, you are teaching them fundamental lessons about investing in those that they love!