As Tevye says; "TRADITION"

When I think of the Holidays, one word that comes into my head immediately is "Tradition." When I think of the word tradition, the first thing that pops into my mind is "Fiddler on the Roof." I have given you the video of the song "Tradition" where Tevye talks about how the Jewish people have always had traditions and they "make the people know who they are and what God expects them to do."




This opening scene of "Fiddler on the Roof" got me to thinking about how traditions really do form us in our families. I have traditions on Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years that if not performed, would make me feel like it wasn't right. I think the same goes for our families and how we relate to each other, treat each other, and even talk about each other. In some families, the rule is to not share any family details outside of the family. This keeps many families from seeking mental health services.

In some families, it is considered normal to not speak with your family members for years at a time. For other families, this would be considered estranged and would cause them distress. For some families, it might be completely normal to ignore things in the family that are taboo or not accepted while others talk about it at every family dinner and it ends in a verbal altercation. We all come from a family and have family "traditions" that we are carrying around even if it means we have no traditions..that is our tradition. I know, that was confusing.

I think that Tevye is right in that Traditions do tell us who we are. We use these traditions as a way of belonging to our families. I found this quote while researching Family Traditions and thought it was a funny way to start this month of talking about family....



When I was a boy, my family took
great care with our snapshots.
We really planned them.
We posed in front of expensive cars,
homes that weren't ours.
We borrowed dogs.
Almost every family picture taken
of us when I was young
had a different borrowed dog in it. -- Richard Avedon

I thought it was funny but it also made me think about how many of us are walking around being someone we aren't due to tradition. It might be tradition to hide all of your pain. It may be tradition to say yes to everything because you are afraid of what no brings. It may be tradition to allow some family members to tell you how to parent your children or live your life and you don't like it..but it's tradition.

There is also a great side to tradition. The research says that traditions can help keep families together, help keep children off of drugs, and keep generations connected. These are the traditions I am going to talk about first. I might as well start out pleasant huh?

Do you have any family traditions that have helped form and keep your family together?

In my family, we have tons of traditions. I will share a few of ours with you so that you have incentive to share with me.

Anthony and My traditions:

-- Each year on Thanksgiving, we always eat at our house and very rarely have it with other family members. This is not because we don't love our family but rather because it is a great time for Anthony and I to just be married people and thank God for the marriage we have. We eat a fantastic meal that we prepare together, watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, watch Christmas movies, put our tree up, and cuddle up on the couch with a glass of wine. It is one of my favorite days of the year. I love my family and call each one of them to say Happy Thanksgiving...but that is the only way we talk!

-- Each year Anthony and I buy an ornament for our Christmas tree that depicts the kind of year we had. Sometimes it is humorous and only we would get it and sometimes it is painful and everyone would catch on. This year, it is a little Starbucks Cup that we just got the other day to thank God for coffee bringing us some peace in our home. (There is a lot to this story)

-- Each year we create a thankfulness box. On Thanksgiving we started the box and it is just a shoe box that I created to be fancy with scrapbook paper. Each day of the year, we take an index card and write on it something we are very thankful for that day. We put it in the box and on Thanksgiving, we wrap it up like a Christmas gift and put it under our tree. On Christmas day it is the last thing we open and we read them aloud to remember all that God has done throughout the year. We start it up every Thanksgiving for the new year. This keeps us so mindful to be thankful and to consider that even bad days, have great things in them!

-- There is a painful anniversary for Anthony and I that we usually just want to be alone for. We decided to pick a restaurant that is both tasty and expensive that we would not normally go to and we take that day, turn off the cell phones, and go eat a fancy expensive dinner and talk about whatever we want because that is our day to be sad about what we have gone through. The other days of the year are days to be thankful and full of joy but sometimes, you have to grieve.

There is a little of my family to yours...what are your traditions and do they make you feel closer to your family?

Happy December ...only 24 days until Christmas!