Today I am doing a post about "Non-traditional" families, whatever that means. I am not sure that any of us are traditional anymore. Today, I mostly mean those families that are blended with step-parents, step-children, divorces, separations, and the like. I found an article talking about some tips of how to make the holidays the best possible given your situation. I thought they were pretty good so some of these are transplanted with my comments and some are mine alone. You can find the original article HERE
1. Accept and Keep the custody agreement:
Most custody agreements are not entirely fair for one or both of the parents. It usually means that one parent has to have Christmas Eve while another has Christmas Day or half and half. It is NEVER convenient or ideal but it also was not intended that marriage should END, so that being said we can probably all agree that some complications are probably expected. The best thing we can do for children is to accept what is and make the very best out of it. That will increase your holiday peace by leaps and bounds.
2. Allow your child to feel their emotions:
It is not easy for a "divorced kid" anymore than it is for a divorced parent so remember that when your children feel put out by having to go separate places for holidays. If you can get along with your ex, try to do it for the kids. If you can't, help your child to understand that they have two parents who love them and want time with them and don't add fuel to the fire by acting out resentment in front of your children. They are feeling enough emotion that they don't need to add guilt to it by feeling pulled and tugged.
3. Plan and Communicate:
It is important to talk with your ex about specific drop off and pick up times so that your holiday traditions can be done as well as his/hers. The child/children in the situation will feel much less pulled around if everything is clear for both parents. Conflicts occur where communication drops off.
4. Equality is key:
It is understandable to think that you should buy more gifts or better gifts for your biological child but this is imperative not to do. Make sure your biological children and your step children feel loved and treated equally this holiday season and every day. It is not their fault that they are in this situation.
5. Yes, buy your ex a gift from the kid(s)
I loved this tip. What a beautiful way to show your kids that you love them by thinking about their mother or father on Christmas no matter what your romantic feelings are. To truly love your child is to love and respect the other parent, barring that they are abused in any way by them.
These are my five tips for the day. Again, you can read the original article at the link above but I wanted to highlight the ones I liked and write my own take on them. I pray for you a peaceful and happy holiday season!
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