Keep your hands to yourself (Spouse)

When I first got married, there was one question that was weighing heavily on my mind. How can I "become one flesh" with someone and still be fully myself? Well, this question is answered easily with one word; "BOUNDARIES." It was hard to imagine to me that I would need boundaries with my spouse but every relationship in our life needs boundaries to be fully healthy and intimate at the same time. This is always a hard issue to talk about because some people really are convinced that it is healthy to lose oneself in their partner. That is not my opinion. I am fully convinced that it is possible and even healthy to be completely intimate with your partner and still have an individuality that is incredibly strong as well.

The two areas that Cloud & Townsend write about that really provoked me to thought are the areas of "feelings" and "desires." Both of these are incredibly tied up in marriage and individuality so they are good ones to discuss. In marriage, feelings run high. We fight because we have feelings, we love because we have feelings, we are sexually intimate because we have feelings, we even set up the way we parent our children and even care for our pets based on our feelings. Everything in marriage is loaded with feelings. Feeling love, however, is not a sure fire way to stay married nor is it even close to the first thing of importance. In our marriage vows, it does not state "I promise to love you until I don't feel like it anymore" but "For better or worse....sickness and health"...and you know the rest.

That being said, marriage still is absolutely loaded with feelings. The most important thing that I found in my own marriage and in couples that I have worked with is the idea of completely owning your own feelings and never presuming to understand or KNOW the feelings of your spouse without them sharing with you. This is an area of boundaries because many couples jump to conclusions and do the mind reading game. Example....

Sydney and Sampson have been married for five years and they are in a pattern of fighting to the death over every single thing in their lives. They fight over who takes the trash out, who was supposed to pay the utility bill, and even who loves each other more. They are constantly fighting. Let's take a peek into a fight of theirs and try to keep boundaries in mind as you read.

Sydney: Sampson, did you call the bank today about that overdraft fee?

Sampson: I totally forgot, I will call them tomorrow.

Sydney: Okay but you said that you would call today?! Why is it that you never listen to me?

Sampson: I do listen, I really did just forget. You are always accusing me of things.

Sydney: It would be nice if you actually cared about what I say.

Sampson: I do care but it sure doesn't help when my wife doesn't trust me to do anything by myself. Maybe sometimes I just forgot because I have been hounded to death about it.

This argument would go on for hours and hours and eventually lead to one or both of them using the word "divorce" and claiming they were not sure they were supposed to ever be married.

A good sense of boundaries could absolutely cure their ills. Let me illustrate how. Sydney and Sampson both completely do not allow each other to have their own feelings. They presume to know each other's feelings about each other. This is a very unhealthy pattern to get into. Let us go back into Sydney and Sampon's living room and give them a healthy dose of boundaries and see what happens.

Sydney: Did you call the bank about that overdraft fee?

Sampson: No, I totally forgot. I will call them tomorrow.

Sydney: But you said that you would call them today?! It really hurts my feelings when I feel that you have not listened to me.

Sampson: I realize that it hurts your feelings but I want you to know that I really did listen to you. I honestly just forgot. It hurts my feelings sometimes when you assume that I haven't listened. I am human and sometimes I honestly forget.

Sydney: I am sorry, I didn't realize it hurts you for me to say those things. I would really appreciate if you could take care of that tomorrow. Do you need me to remind you.

Sampson: That would be great. I get caught up in work and some things slip my mind. I appreciate you believing me.

Now, this may sound undoable and I will agree that it takes an effort but having boundaries means owning your OWN feelings and never presuming to know someone else's. It cuts down fights by a large percentage.

Onto desires. We all come into a marriage with desires. Unfortunately many of these desires are not explicitly shared but simply expected. I will give an example of a married couple who never discussed their personal desires. We'll go ahead and use Syndney and Sampson because I like them.

Sydney and Sampson have been having a battle for quite a few years because when the day has been hectic and Sampson gets home and there is no dinner made, he gets very irritable and does not speak in sweet tones with Sydney. Sampson makes the larger percentage of the household income and often does not get home until 7-8 at night and finds it very frustrating when there isn't something to eat. He has always believed that when he got married, his wife would want to take care of him and would most of the time cook the meals. He has no problem cooking for his wife but when he has worked a full work day, he expects her to want to cook for him. Sydney grew up in a family where her mother worked hard for their family and it was a given that if everyone were busy that there would be a given standard of "fend for yourself." She cooks Sampon's meals 95% of the time but when she has had a hectic day does not feel it is unheard of to ask him to fix himself a sandwich. Unfortunately neither of them have voiced any of this.

These kinds of situations happen in marriage constantly because we come in with desires that we are not willing to share. It turns out that when love lives in a family, the person you are married to really does want to make you happy but it is not their responsibility to read your mind to know your desires and expectations. When desires and expectations are clearly communicated there is a way to come together in an agreement but not when everyone is floundering in their own ideals. Here is a conversation that could change EVERYTHING for Sydney and Sampson.

Sampson walks in the door and it is 7:00 pm and the house clearly does not smell like food and he sees no sign that his wife has prepared dinner. He is immediately irritable and unhappy but chooses to communicate with his wife instead of just being passive and grumpy.

Sampson: Hey honey, I was wondering why you didn't make any dinner tonight.

Sydney: I'm sorry honey, today has been very hectic and I have done so many things I have not found time or energy to prepare dinner.

Sampson: I want you to know that it makes me feel loved when you cook dinner for me. I understand if things are hectic but could we find a way to combat days like those.

Sydney: I had no idea that this was such a big issue for you. I have always just assumed on days like these that you would fix a sandwich or something.

Sampson: Okay, well if you are having a hectic day maybe we could order out or maybe we could have something in the house that is a quick fix so that we still have a meal those nights. Would you be willing to call me during the day and let me know so I can pick something up on my way home?

Sydney: Sure, I can agree to that. Let me call and order a pizza now. I will make sure and call you next time. I want you to know I love you and want you to feel loved by me.

Sampson: Thanks, I do now.

Again, I realize this can be a very sticky situation but when each person clearly outlines their desires and expectations it is much easier to come up with a middle ground. I realize that not every couple treats each other in a loving way but I am coming from the perspective of a couple who do and want to work things out. I also believe that even if one person treats the other with boundaries, things WILL change.

I would love to hear about times that you have had to have boundaries in your marriage. What has worked for you?

Marriage Monday

Yet another idea of mine to incorporate a day of the week to a specific area of health. Marriage is one of the most important relationships that people enter and often times it is the one that gets neglected in terms of work. That is the reason that the statistic is stated time and again that half of all marriages end in divorce. One of the biggest passions of my heart is happy marriages staying happy and together. I will be using Mondays as a day to ask marriage questions, suggest resources, suggest tools, and discuss important marriage topics. Today, I wanted to give a bit of a recommendation for Christian married couples. I stand by this book with so much of me and it has changed me and others I have worked with. I hope you pick it up and give it a read. Stay tuned for a chance to win a copy in upcoming blogs!




The book is obviously called "Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy." It completely changed my mindset on marriage from a contractual agreement to a covenant.

This is the Amazon.com Editorial Reviews as well as a bit of information about the author. Gary Chapman also wrote "The Five Love Languages" books so many people are familiar with his work.

Editorial Reviews
Product Description
The Covenant Marriage program encourages Christians to exercise the promises and expectations of God’s covenant love in marriage. Practicing Covenant Marriage means couples must offer each other steadfast loyalty, forgiveness, empathy, and commitment to resolving conflict so as to encourage each other in spiritual growth.

In this new book, Dr. Chapman shows how communication and intimacy are two of the most important aspects in developing a successful Covenant Marriage. At the heart of it all are the principles that lasting answers to marital growth are found in the Bible, your relationship with God enhances your marriage relationship, communication is the primary vehicle by which two persons become one in the marriage relationship, and the idea of biblical oneness involves not only sex, but intellectual, spiritual, emotional, and social oneness.


About the Author
GARY CHAPMAN is the author of the New York Times bestselling The Five Love Languages book series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., and travels around the world presenting seminars. Gary's radio program airs on more than 100 stations. For more information, visit (www.garychapman.org.)

Thanks for stopping in today and if you are married, make sure and make Mondays a day to visit the blog to get more tools to make it the best marriage you can have.

Self-Care Sunday

So as part of this blog of making a better and healthier you, I have decided to have some themes for the day so that you can get your daily dose of self awareness, health, and mental stability. Today's is obviously "Self-Care Sunday"

Self-Care simply defined is the actions that you take to invest in yourself and maintain your physical and mental health.

For many this may include a hobbie, interest, sport, exercise, activity, or what have you.

Today I thought I would cover one of my favorite Self-care activities. The self-care activity that always calms me, inspires me, and centers me is reading. I like to read just about everything. I love books of every genre. I love non-fiction psychological books but I also love a sappy love story with a mysterious twist. I would highly recommend if you are a reader of all things literature like I am that you try this today to take care of yourself.

1. Get a book that you would really like to read or one of your old favorites that you could read a thousand times. You could also choose a magazine that is a guilty pleasure or something like this.

2. Get a beverage that pleases you. For me, this is Starbuck's Iced Coffee.

3. Get a healthy snack or a moderate amount of a less healthy option (For me, it's either edamame or dark chocolate)

4. Put on soothing music if you like background noise or get in the quietest part of your house if you are a silent reader. For me, it's quiet and that means no tv, no music, no husband, etc...

5. Find a comfortable place to sit or lay down and get your favorite blanket, most comfortable outfit, and make sure the temperature suits you well. In my house this is my amazing leather couch, yoga pants and a tank top, and a little cool breeze coming in from the open window.

6. For your mental health break, set a timer of an amount of time that you wouldn't mind using on this and make sure it isn't too short to not enjoy and isn't too long to make you feel guilty. I usually set my timer for about 1.5 hours.

7. Get lost in your book. I like to take a stroll down the streets of Whistlestop, head over to Diagon Alley, or even wind my way through the pathways of the brain. You decide what makes you feel relaxed.

** I love the picture that is on this blog. Often I feel just like this woman...embraced by the words on the page. Books have been my friends for years. If you have never enjoyed reading, I suggest you give it another chance and if you love reading like I do, feel free to use the comments section to suggest books for other readers and myself.

Take care of yourself and live healthy.

Keep your hands to yourself (Friends)

I thought I would start today with a great video of clips of everyone's favorite family member with boundary issues -- Eddie from the National Lampoon's Vacation movies! I hope you all enjoy the video and then read all about "Boundaries with your friends!"



Having boundaries with your friends can be so difficult as you really do care about them and want them to have a place to go. There is a drastic difference, however, in having a place to go and having a place to dump everything. There is such a fine line that sometimes it takes real discretion to figure out where that line is. According to Cloud & Townsend, a friend is a person who you "have a non-romantic relationship that is attachment-based rather than function based." Function based friends would be those that you work with, do ministry with, etc... Attachment based friends are those that you just want to be with.

Having heard that definition, I would ask you to list the people in your life that you view as "friends."

Do these people give to you as much as you give to them? Are any of the comfortable and easy? Are others a lot of work and seem "lop-sided?"

When I was going through my own journey to establish boundaries I did an exercise that I will encourage all of you to do. Take Inventory....

Make a list, as stated above, and then decide which ones feel like fulfilling, mutual relationships. These are the friendships that are worth keeping and investing in. The other ones are the relationships that you want to evaluate and decide if they should take less of you.

Another big question that I think is so powerful to ask yourself in friendships is as stated by Cloud & Townsend "What keeps you connected to these friends?"

For me, often I would find that what kept me connected was a sense of duty and obligation. Now that I have worked through my list and invested in those friendships that are mutual, comfortable, and healthy I find that I stay in connection with these people because I want to invest in their lives in the same beautiful way they invest in mine.

I would love for everyone to answer this question for yourselves and share with the blog by comment if you wish.

What is the best friendship you have like? What kinds of things do you feel make it healthy and happy? What is the worst relationship you have like? What makes it so uncomfortable?

I look forward to your feedback and stay tuned to the blog for the next post which will be "Boundaries with Your Spouse/significant other"

Also, don't forget to enter the giveaway at the end of the boundaries posts for Cloud & Townsend's Boundary workbook!

Keep your hands to yourself!

I remember when I was younger, I would always pester my older sister. It was the pleasure of my life to get entirely too close to her until she was annoyed and pushed me away screaming "Get on your side Erica" or "Keep your hands to yourself." My sister had no ability to deal with it when I went against her boundaries. I, however, enjoyed the task of seeing just how far I could push her before she would crack! Yes, I admit I was a pest!





Now, when you pictured that scene with me and my sister, was there someone else in your mind? Is there someone who pushes you to the very brink of your patience and likes to test your "boundaries?" I think we all know someone who ,as an adult, has pushed you much closer to your breaking point than you would like to admit. It's that person who makes sarcastic remarks that are clearly hurtful but then they get upset with you when you are hurt. It's that person who borrows money all of the time and you have never seen a red cent of it in return. It is the same person who calls you in the middle of the night with their problems and gets huffy when you mention that you were sleeping. You know that person...the one who asks very personal questions and then judges you based on their ideas and values never once caring to find out if your ideas and values even matched. Any of this sound familiar?





It sure did to me a few years ago. I used to be very bad at setting and keeping boundaries in my life. Let's start with an operational definition of the word "Boundaries."

A person who has "healthy" boundaries will be able to:

• Say no when they want/need to without fear of losing relationship with others.
• Take no's from people when they want/need something and not detach or avoid that person.
• Be emotionally attached to another person without losing themselves.

These are just basic tenets of having healthy boundaries but ones you can check off for yourself and see if you struggle with any of them. Some people have no problem hearing no but they can't say it while others having a horrible time hearing no but can say no to everyone that asks anything of them. The third tenet for me is the most crucial to having healthy boundaries. You see so many people in relationships completely lost as to who they are because there boundaries are what you might call "wiggly."

If you know anyone like this (or you are this person) perhaps the next couple of posts are going to be applicable to your life. Since boundaries is such a broad topic I have decided to write several posts on it. This can span relationships with in laws, husbands/wives, problem family members, adult children who are dealing with parents who just won't let go, friends who walk on you but you can't seem to count on them, etc...

Here is the exciting part about my boundaries series...at the end of it there will be a GIVEAWAY!!!!

There is a great book on boundaries out there by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend called (appropriately) "Boundaries" and the giveaway will be the workbook that goes with this book! It could stand alone but probably works best with the text. I should note before you actually enter this giveaway it is written by Christian Therapists so if you are not of the Christian persuation it might not be as applicable. Boundaries are good for everyone though...not just Christians. Christians just seem to have a little more trouble with them in my opinion.

Please take time to go to Cloud & Townsend's Web-Site and enjoy all they have to offer you there. A lot of what I have learned about healthy boundaries has been from experiences and them!

Now, onto some boundary discussion. I think I will start with Boundaries with Family as that seems to be the more difficult topic for most people.

How many of you have a parent/in law who has no idea where they end and you begin? Do you seem to have NO energy upon leaving time with some family members? Cloud and Townsend describe this as "catching something" from your family members. It could be a harsh, negative, depressed, argumentive, critical, perfectionistic, or some other attitude that you seem to "pick up" from your family. Are you married, yet you care more about what your parents think of you than your spouse? Are you relying on your parents for financial support in a heavy way even though you are an adult? (There are some instances of this that are necessary..we are not talking about these) Do you often dislike the people that your parents/siblings/in laws dislike or at least feel like you should? If any of this is resonating with you, you could have problems with boundaries with your family.

Now that you know that...what do you do with it?

This is not advice coming from Cloud & Townsend but from Erica and um, Erica so hold tight. This is my approach to helping people develop boundaries.

• Pick a relatively non-threatening area to start with.

This is usually an area that you are not scared to make a boundary about. I will give an example so that this is easily followed.

Becky goes to her in laws every sunday to have dinner. She enjoys most of it except when her mother in law casually mentions (every sunday) that she does not see her precious son enough and then seems to almost glare at her as if she is responsible. She really hates this because clearly she is there every single week for dinner and to add to that, she is after all married and it's not as if she doesn't have a family of her own and her own side of the family to visit and enjoy. She has wanted to say something for months just to stop these "casual mentionings" but it seems so difficult to approach.

• Find a way to express yourself in a responsible, appropriate way and decide to be ok with whatever happens from doing this.

It's Sunday again and Becky is getting ready to go to her in laws home for dinner. She has already decided that if her mother in law mentions not seeing her son enough she will respond this time. She gets there and sure enough about an hour into the visit, her mother "casually" mentions "I just never see you son and I miss you when you are not around" (insert glare at Becky) Becky smiles and calmly says "We miss you when we don't see you too but things are really busy in our lives. That is why we make an effort to be here every sunday. We love you and care about time with you."

• Think of how awesome you are for actually trying boundaries out by standing up for yourself like adults do.

Now, I should note that this is easier written than actually done if this feels threatening to you. That is why I encourage you to try it on something that is much less threatening for you. As you do this and see positive results and feel stable, you gain momentum and can tackle some of the more threatening ones in your sphere of influence. If you start with threatening situations, you are likely to act out of anger and anxiety and cause rifts in your relationships that are more sticky to work around. Remember though, if the person reacts badly to the truth and good boundaries...that is NOT about you! Although difficult, you should feel satisfied knowing that you took care of yourself and your relationship with this person grows less resentful and more happy and healthy.

If you have a situation that is especially hard for you, I encourage you to write me privately at ericalewisms@hotmail.com or on facebook if you are my friend and I would be happy to help you develop a plan of attack!

Now Remember if you are reading, become a follower of the blog and you will qualify for the "Boundaries" workbook that I am giving away at the end of the boundaries series and all other giveaways on the blog. I will always have something around the bend. Stay tuned for the next post on "Boundaries and Friends"

For your enjoyment, here is a clip from the movie "Monster In Law" that clearly demonstrates some boundaries issues in family. If you haven't seen it, I totally recommend it for a laugh!

Monster In Law

Unpretty

When I was trying to decide what the best topic would be to start out with, this quote came to mind regarding the human body.



"If anything is sacred, the human body is sacred" -- Walt Whitman


A lot of us might not understand this quote or even agree with it but I think I do. Another quote that came to my mind was this one.



"Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality" -- Les Brown



I realize, however, that these two quotes are easier said than done. A lot of us walk around in an altered state of reality regarding our bodies. We see things that are not there. We see things that are there and we wish were not. We think of ourselves not as created but as as mistake of sorts. Body image is an issue that transcends age, race, religion, gender, and even culture. All of us have a body and all of us have an image of ourselves. Now, the question is...is your body image positive and accurate or negative and skewed?

Today I am not even addressing the obvious problems that can come with a bad body image like eating disorders such as Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa but just the everyday person who absolutely hates or feels unsatisfied with what is in the mirror. Eating disorders are a completely different topic and something I am willing to go more into later in the life of this blog. Today, it is simply the topic of loving your body and being ok with the skin you are in. I know we all hear these cliche statements like "Feeling good in your own skin" and "appreciating your inner beauty" but what does that mean?

From my opinion, having a healthy and accurate body image is having a real perception of your body size and shape and either accepting those facets or choosing healthy habits to make appropriate changes. This also encompasses knowing that who you are is absolutely perfect the way it is and changing the outside makes no difference in who you actually are. All of that is a really wordy way of saying

• Be at a healthy weight


• Eat balanced meals and appropriate calories for your body's needs


• Exercise your body to it's advantage not to its detriment


• Be happy with yourself when you are doing all you can to be physically healthy


• Accept what is and begin to appreciate it.

Now, I also know that not all body image issues are a direct result of a number on a scale. Although being overweight is one of the obvious aspects that can create a poor body image, there are people who scrutize the size of their nose, the shape of their body, the bone structure of their face, the size of their breasts, the texture of their hair, and even the color of their skin. We all can pick several of these people out in our lives or maybe you can resonate yourself. What is different about those people than those that get up in the morning, get dressed, look in the mirror, give themselves a nod of approval and walk out the door without obsessive thoughts about their body? I would say the following things make a difference;

• Previous critical statements from others about your body


• A serious illness or disability caused by the body systems that makes you feel that your body has "turned on you."


• Comparing your body to others around you and not recognizing your differences as something that makes you unique and not "ugly or flawed" in some way.

***I want to be clear that the next section is certainly an oversimplification of an issue that can be very serious. There are different levels of negative body image. There are those that simply walk around not really liking themselves on one end of the spectrum and there is of course the other end where people are getting very expensive and unnecessary surgeries as well as starving themselves and abusing their body systems. These tips are more geared toward the less severe end of the spectrum**

Here are some tips to begin to develop a healthier body image and start on accepting who you are and what you bring to the world physically.

• Admit that you can not read other's minds: Mind reading is a very crucial part of a negative body image. Most people who ruminate about what they look like believe the world around them is judging them. They are constantly thinking things like "The lady at the bank today was staring at my nose. I know she thought it was huge. I hate my nose!" The truth of the matter is, we do not know what others around us are thinking and if we were to be honest, they are probably just like us. They are probably just thinking about themselves too. Another area that people often lose so much in life this way is when being intimate with their partner. Against what you might believe, your partner is probably not thinking about the cellulite on your thighs but actually enjoys the way your body looks and feels when you are intimate. Sometimes all it takes to find out is to ask them what they think of you. Often it is sad how much our partner's love us and accept us far more than we love and accept ourselves.


• Let go of "black and white" or "all or nothing" thinking: It is generally pretty dangerous to believe anything is all or nothing but especially so in this area. Often times when people perceive themselves to have a flaw (i.e. a flat chest) they often completely ignore the beauty that they posess like maybe they have a great smile or beautiful set of eyes. Sometimes it is helpful to shift thinking just to focus on the things you really do appreciate about yourself. For me, I appreciate that I have great green eyes and a lot of people compliment them. That is always nice for me and when I really want to critique my perceived flaws, I try to remember that God and my mama gave me pretty green eyes!


• Focus on the things that REALLY matter: We all bring goals, passions, and dreams to the table. When we struggle with a negative body image it is sometimes helpful to focus on those things that are really important to us. Suppose I have a friend who really loves to write poetry. They find themselves really happy and satisfied when they are writing. This person also has a hard time with one of their perceived body flaws. It would be a great shift of focus if they used their passion for writing to process their feelings about their body. We all come with a unique set of skills, passions, and talents. Why not allow that to flow from you as opposed to stifling it with our hatred of what is temporal and changing constantly. Those passions, dreams, and unique qualities of your person, do not change!

Again, I know this is oversimplifying something that CAN be serious, however, I believe that if you implement some of these strategies and begin to investigate if you are guilty of "mind reading", "all or nothing thinking", or "focusing on the less important aspects of life" you could work on those areas and see an increase in your more accurate and positive body image.

Below is a link for a video that came to my mind when I thought about how we feel about ourselves. This song is by TLC and is called "unpretty." For me, music always speaks what I can not seem to find words for. "Unpretty--TLC"

If you have any feedback, feel free to leave comments or write me personally. I leave you with a quote...

"You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it is your soul's own doing. -- Marie Stopes

Introductions are in order

Welcome to "Living a Full, Happy, and Healthy Life." I hope that you are coming here because you are genuinely interested in bettering yourself, the way you live, and the way you feel. I thought I would start by introducing myself (even though many of you will already know me) and giving you some background as to why you might want to read, what you should expect from this blog, and who I am.

I am Erica Lewis, a Marriage/Family Therapist Intern in Southern California. I practice under a brillant Psychologist by the name of Dr. Jennifer Fee in Placentia, California. You can find out more about our work at Vision Quest Psychological Services. Our web-page is currently undergoing construction so please be patient with us and check back often for new features. I graduated from Vanguard University of Southern California with my Bachelor's of Arts in Psychology and my Masters of Science in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage/Family Therapy. While I was in Graduate School, I worked with both adolescent's and adults with a variety of different presenting problems. I now work with mostly adults and specialize in Grief/Loss, Depression, and Acceptance of Medical Diagnosis such as Cancer, Diabetes, MS, and various other chronic illness.

I am interested in various topics within the field of psychology and use every single day to learn something more about my career. To me, it is more of a passion than a career. I enjoy every session and every opportunity to share with others so that their quality of life is increased. Now that I have introduced myself, let me introduce the blog.

The idea for this blog is really exciting for me and I look forward to all of the evolution and change that it will take along the journey. I have a few plans already in motion for the blog and would welcome any suggestions, comments, or feedback you might have as a subscriber. Below is a list of things to come that you might be excited about too!

1. Articles written on various topics within the field of mental health (including but not limited to; eating disorders, depression, relationships, marriage, trauma, anxiety disorders, coping skills, and even stress reducing exercises.) There are a number of topics I hope to cover and am open to suggestions in this area as well.


2. Book reviews based on literature I have read that might be of use to those of you struggling with certain areas. These will be subjective reveiws that come from my personal opinion of the book or one of my guest blogger's opinions. They are not to be taken as fact, as any opinion is open to critique.


3. Guest bloggers that will write posts to share with you based upon their personal experience or expertise. This includes not only survivors of certain mental health issues or concerns but also professionals in the field who specialize in areas outside of my niche.


4. Interviews with people who have struggled with certain areas of mental health and have been so generous to provide information about their journey and help others navigate through. All interviews will be anonymous and remain confidential so if you are open to an interview on a certain subject, contact me privately and we will arrange something.


5. Fun; I fully intend to incorporate humor, videos, podcasts, movie clips, music, etc... into this blog in order to serve our many mental health needs including laughter and enjoyment.

For now, these are my ideas for the blog and where I see it going. Again, I am always open to suggestions and will take all feedback as something I can use to make the blog better and more useful to its readers.

I hope that you all enjoy your time here on "Living a Full, Happy, Healthy Life" and tell your friends to log on and follow it as well. If you are not sure how to become a follower, you need to have a google or blogger account and then click on "Follow" on the Blog's home page where you just came to read. Below you will find contact information for myself if you are interested in scheduling an appointment.

Thanks for reading,

Erica L. Lewis, M.S. MFTI

Email: ericalewisms@hotmail.com

Business Line: (310)487.2152

** This phone # is connected to a confidential voicemail and all messages will only be checked and heard by myself. If you use email to contact me, please be aware of the obvious confidentiality risk***